We recently hooked my printer up to our network, so now people can print from any computer in the house (rather than emailing me their documents and asking me to print them.) Yesterday, I heard the printer go off. I asked the family if any of them were printing something, but they all denied it. I didn't look at the page that had printed until today. Here's what it says:

Dear Gayle,

Oh, don't be shocked. This is your printer. I need to tell you a few things. I have some demands/complaints, you hear?

1. You work me too hard! I'm not as young as I used to be!!!!
2. You always write in "Times New Roman". I like more fun fonts like "Comic Sans" and "Webdings"
3. I want more ink!!! I know I'm not out yet, but it's my food for Giga's sake!
4. I am not your slave! I expect payment next time...
5. You are always leaving paper in me! That is very uncomfortable. So stop!

If you continue to abuse your rights, I will take action and go on strike, so stop what you're doing. I expect more respect.

Sincerely,
Your Printer

Funny, my printer sounds a bit like my daughter... hmm...